Saturday, January 28, 2006

Fall on Your Sword or Get Stabbed

This memo was leaked from the highest levels of the current administration. I found it at AnonymousSource dot com. All those unnamed sources I’ve been reading about in the papers and hearing about on TV have decided to move into the new century and set up a blog of their own. I pulled it down from there. Read fast the rightwing nuts will descend most precipitately and jump on me for being false of font and the watermark is more from a spill than by design.

To: W, our Main Prez
From: Your other cabal, your female side, The Texianiennes
Subject: What to do about Iraq

"I feel like a hitchhiker on the Texas plain during a hailstorm with no place to run and no place to hide,"

-- Fellow Texan LBJ, about another war

We know you don't like that old baddie "bad news," but you're such a big boy, and sometimes you have to take that old bad tasting medicine before you can feel good and go out and ride your bike.

However, before we can play, we have some chores to do. We've got us a mess to clean up. You know, some times a simple dusting just won't do: You just have to clean house. Throw everything out, scrub everything down, and get all new stuff. That type of house cleaning is sorely needed.

The best solution to the current unpleasantness in regards to Iraq would be to get rid of the entire Neocon hoard. The whole lot. Purge your administration starting with Rumsfeld and any and all people tainted by association with the politically embarrassing Neocon philosophy. They resign to pursue other interest or fire them. They told some oh so good stories, but we now know, they lack a healthy dose of reality. They lied to us and made you look like a liar. We know you certainly didn't make up those lies; it would have been way too much hard work for you to have done it.

Regulate the Big Dick to the traditional role of vice president. He still has other priorities than serving you or his country. Besides, wisecrack softly but carry a Big Dick didn’t work for you. Come home to moms’ home cooking.

For DOD, bring in some big name, as Reagan did with Howard Baker. We could pick the next president. Sister Condi would take back foreign policy, sister Karen will help with the PR, and you know you’re the man at home.

So, out with the old and in with the new. You will look decisive and in charge. Turn on them and we and the rest of the country will be right with you. You will rally the mid-term election and come away a winner here if not in Iraq.

We’re working on how to spin that.

Party for Chalabi like it's 1999

This memo actually leaked back before Thanksgiving when Ahmad Chalabi was returning to the states. It was posted at dailykos When another came my way, I decide to find a home for them.

To: Cabal Members
From: Your Fellow Neocon Social Director
Subject: Party for Chalabi

I don’t know if you heard – we all know how good our own intel is – but Ahmad Chalabi will be back in DC shortly and we all want to welcome back our old friend. We have a lot to talk about. We’ll let you know time and place when all the particulars go firm.

Of course, we will be presenting Ahmad with his award for “Best Use of Intelligence during the Run Up to the Second Iraqi War.” He may say a few words. He sure did not mind talking when he was here before. We are hoping he is bringing all those flowers we were promised during that time. Before the party, Ahmad will meet with Condi – that member of the other cabal in Big W’s life, the one involving powerful women – and he can fill us in on what they are up to. Anyway, we can laugh and talk like it was when he was here before, when theory and ideals were not tainted by reality. Ahmad could always tell a good story.

And Paulie, please, please, come. You’re our heart and soul. It’s your theories that got us were we are in the world today. When you said we would be out in less than two years, we thought you were talking about our military in Iraq, not yourself. Who da Wolfman? You da Wolfman!

And no party would be complete without our Big Dick. We are hoping he can make it. What with his work trying to exclude the CIA from the moral responsibility for basic human dignity of certain non-Americans – when you say you’re the good guys, you don’t have to act like good guys – and getting access to drill on the north slope, he may only be here a short while. Our Big W may drop by also, but his being present is irrelevant. However, his irrelevancy is important. As this duck become more lame, our power diminishes. That is why we need to make the most of our Big Dick’s presents.

The plans for the invasion of Iran and North Korea do not appear operative this term. Thus, we have got to get our Big Dick in that Oval Office in 2008. If we run him with care, his ticker should last long enough to get elected, and that is all we need. We will discuss the choice for vice president in a back room during the party.

Till then, remember we are the world.